Recently I had someone do a third thing that made me really uncomfortable and I think it’s the last straw. There is only so much I can allow someone to disrespect the memory of someone I hold dear. There is only so much I can take of someone disrespecting me and my life.
If you follow me on facebook or tumblr, or you know me in real life, you’ll know that I recently got a fairly brutal sunburn after playing an afternoon of volleyball. To answer the question you’re thinking, no I wasn’t wearing sunscreen and no I don’t regret it. I knew the risk when I decided to play, and I took it because it was worth it to me. Volleyball is my number one sport, and I am not often willingly social (especially not at work) so I went out on a limb and had a fantastic time.
Friday (the day after getting the burn) there was a family get together for one of my cousin’s birthday. A few of my aunts and uncles asked me about it, with concern, to ascertain whether or not I was taking care of it properly. Asking if I was putting lotion/aloe/vitaminE on it, etc, to maximize and speed up healing. Making sure I was staying hydrated. Shaking their heads a bit when I told them I don’t do sunscreen, but acknowledging that it was MY decision. Once they realized that I was doing what I could and that I knew what I was doing and that I had all the information to make the best choices, they dropped it and opted for poking fun at me for being so white and lobster-like. All was good.
Then this one person, not an aunt or uncle, not a cousin or grandparent, but someone I met less than six months ago, gets uncomfortably into my personal space and lectures me. Full on gives me a shit talk for being an independent person making her own decisions. Not gonna lie, I was flabbergasted at her gall. And when I say in my personal space, I mean less space between her and I than between Dean and Castiel when Dean gets uncomfortable.
My mother doesn’t even talk to me like that. My family, you know, the people I’ve known for the twenty-plus years I’ve been traveling this planet, don’t talk to me like that. I am an adult who is perfectly capable of making decisions based on prior experience. Not to mention that I have had this skin since birth, I think I know how it works.
I do not appreciate being talked down to. I do not appreciate being lectured. And I sure as shit don’t appreciate you coming into my personal space when I don’t even know you. Anyone who knows me knows for a fact that if you TELL me to do something, I’m going to go out of my way to piss you off. Because I’m not a child to be talked down to, I’m not a whipping post, and I’m not a slave/servant. I am a person who can makes choices and do whatever I choose (including the opposite of what you ask me, especially if you do it in a disrespectful way).
I kept quiet this time, and the last two times you made me uncomfortable but third times the charm. You had your chance and now it’s time for me to step up.
No one, and I mean no one, deserves to have their personal space invaded. No one deserves to be lectured for making choices about their own body. NO ONE and that includes me.
(If anyone in my family is reading this, I’m sorry if I make you uncomfortable. But I can not and will not accept this in my life.)
Moral of the story: don’t lecture people you don’t know, and don’t get in people’s personal space unless they fucking invite you in.
Thank you and I’ll see you later